Insomnia

Okay, so I didn't cut my hair. I was very close, I even left for work early so I'd have time to stop and get it done. Work was pretty awful, but short. I got some Chinese for dinner, which was a bad idea, but tasted delicious at the time. And now, six hours later, I can't sleep because I'm afraid that the food gave me salmonella. Or just some kind of food poisoning. My stomach is still and I'm too nervous to sleep. So I'm sitting here eating oyster crackers and blogging. I don't really even know why I bother to blog. It's clear that no one is reading, but it's an absolution of sorts. I've never been the type to put my blog url in my aim profile, so I know that none of my worthless friends are reading. I think that instead of complaining about nothing I'm going to tell my hypothetical readers about Melissa.
Melissa and I were both part of a group of friends from Freshman year of college on the chemical free floor. We all signed a contract saying that we wouldn't drink or do drugs, at risk of being kicked off campus with one offense. So we were a group of 18 year old geeks with almost nothing in common. The group also consisted of Brittany (Melissa's roommate), Jessica (my roommate), and Franklin and Mike (roommates :-)). There were others on the floor, but none that we regularly spend time with. Out of the entire group I had the least in common with Melissa, and I liked her the least, but I put up with her because everyone else seemed to like her well enough. Well Freshman year went without much trouble at all, and the six of us were friends until the end of the year. Well five of us returned to school the next year, and Brit transferred back to a local college and lived at home.
Jess and Melissa were roommates that year, and I was placed with a random roommate named Laura. Franklin and Mike stayed together. At that point several new girls entered our group, I won't bother to name them because they're all interchangeable as far as this story goes. Fall semester went by poorly for me, well for the rest. Melissa was instrumental in making me feel uncomfortable as part of the group. She made snide remarks, and I'm sure she spread rumors. So I made a few new friends and didn't rely so much on the 'group'.
That spring I moved to a new dorm, and stayed friendly with the group but not close. Laura and I also remained friends. When the group no longer had me to scapegoat, they turned to Melissa. She wasn't tough enough to deal with it though. Finally she found out how everyone felt about her and had a break down. Jessica (who remains my best friend to this day), told me what had happened and I felt somehow responsible; like if I hadn't left, they never would have turned on Melissa. So I befriended her again, and she never really apologized for her behavior that fall, but she acknowledged it which was enough for me. We were friendly for the rest of the semester and planned to be roommates the following year. We even signed up for the room together. About a month after school ended I decided to live at home, my parents were going through some money troubles and I told Melissa that was the reason.
The summer passed, she and I didn't talk, but it wasn't awkward. Finally, about a week before school was to start I got a letter that was sent to all commuters saying that there was room on campus. I called the office and asked for a single in the building that Melissa and I were going to be living in and by a miracle I got one. The largest singles in the coolest building on campus, I was ecstatic! I told Melissa that my grandparents were paying for it (I think, I might have said that my dad was working again, which was half true, he had never stopped working just gone down to half time). She and I fought several times that fall, and I mostly spent time with Jessica, who had become an RA, and the rest of the group. I can't recall if I had a falling out with Jessica or if I was just lonely but somehow I ended up hanging out with Melissa and her friends that spring, one of whom was Laura, my sophomore roommate, the other of whom was Manda, a crazy girl who was loads of fun. The four of us spent a lot of time together, drinking (all of them were 21, but I wasn't yet), watching movies, eating tons of Ben and Jerrys, or just sitting on the floor of Laura's room doing homework and watching American Idol. It was a wonderful time in my life, and I felt for once like I had a real clique of girlfriends. Like Sex and the City. One time, Melissa got asked out on a blind date and brought me for his friend. It was crazy, and not fun at all, the guy was really slow. But after we left the pool hall, we went through the McDonald's drivethrough and asked the guy at the window how to get somewhere, he said he didn't know how to get there but that he could sing to us. We said no thanks, but five minutes later we drove back and asked him to sing. He sang Backstreet Boys and we sang along, even though neither of us is into pop music. It was one of those amazing unforgetable nights that you have stories out of for years to come.
Towards the end of spring, Melissa, Laura, and I decided to get an apartment together. Actually I was something of a last minute addition as they had been planning for long before I had started to spend time with them. I did most of the work, researching apartments and setting up appointments to view them, I emailed the leasing agent, at the place we decided on, several times a day for weeks until we got everything straightened around. The three of us decided to share a two bedroom, which was probably not the best of ideas in hindsight, but both of them had large families and were used to such things. Melissa and I ended up in the room together, and Laura had her own bedroom. For a couple of weeks we got along great, they were great friends to me when my father got remarried a mere month after my mother divorced him, and when I had to go the wedding reception they would have let my date stay over even though they're both deeply religious (he and I stayed at my mothers). But after a little over a month, I couldn't handle it anymore. I did not enjoy rooming with Melissa.
She and I tried to hang out and be friendly, we even got a cat together. Several days after that I had a nervous breakdown and moved back in with my father and his new wife. I went over and told Melissa, after a long sustaining talk with my best male friend. Jessica was at the apartment, thank goodness, and she already knew what was happening. It was a bad day. We both cried, and she got angry and I got defensive. I didn't handle the situation in the best way possible because I knew I was wrong and was on the defensive even more. I called my dad and told him that I needed to get all my stuff out that day. He came through and we moved everything out that afternoon. Laura came home as I was leaving and she took the news a lot better. She agreed to take the cat, even though Melissa said she didn't want him, and we have reamained friends. Melissa hugged me and said that she didn't have many friends and didn't want to lose me as one. I agreed and thought that all was well. I paid the rent for another 2 and a half months, even for that last month when they had found a new roommate and they pocketed the money. But Melissa apparantly wasn't happy with that.
She 'unfriended' me on facebook (which is basically a diss), and told one member of the 'group' that we were no longer friends because I had 'backstabbed her twice'. Now I don't know what the second time was, and she and Laura managed to find a roommate, and Laura is fine with me. That was last summer, she still hasn't contacted me and I think that this time our friendship is over for good. As frustrating as it is, I wish that she and I could have stayed civil even if she can't trust me anymore. As it is, I was out almost two thousand dollars on my security deposit, and the three months rent, plus the costs of the cat, which Melissa and Laura didn't help with. And so that's the story of Melissa, former friend, 'backstab-ee', lunatic.
Anyway, I hope that spending that hour typing out that incredibly long story, which no one will ever read has cured this insomnia and stomach pain.
Good Night Sweet Blogverse, may you never be screwed over by someone like me.